Healing

All I can say is that stress and anxiety really do suck.

I have felt a lot of stress and anxiety in the past 2 years Id say. I remember when it started. I scared me because I didn't know what was happening or why, or how to stop it. It just hurt. Hurt my head, hurt my body...I was physically feeling stress (as the doctors told me everything else looked fine and healthy).
I feel like the past two years have been hard - trying to learn how to deal with this daily.

School does not help the stress at all, but I know I feel it even on a nice summers day, walking in the hot sun, enjoy my time... I FEEL it. It is annoying.  I have noticed however, proving my doctors prediction some-what correct,  that since moving to Saskatchewan things have felt more manageable.  A big part of the stress I felt in Calgary was school also, but a lot was just feeling busy all the time. The hustle and bustle going on around me.  Things to do, places to be, people to see... all which took so much time. So now here in Saskatoon, as much as I want to see people we know more here, it isn't as much a stresser for me. School seems to be the big one.

Anyways, the point of this is getting drawn out. I have prayed daily, and multiple times on days for the Lord to just give me peace and comfort and to help with the pain I feel.  I have even prayed directly to the pain and commanded it to leave as we are told to do. The Lord is faithful and has helped me significantly I know, but I still feel it. This weekend Coy and I are headed to a Retreat weekend put on by a ministry called Ellel Ministries. We heard of it through Coy's extended family and after hearing testimonies from couples we know personally, we decided to apply to go.  It is run mainly by volunteers who are trained and want to see healing and change happen in the Lords Kingdom.  The people there trained for ministry really just feed into your lives spiritually for 2 days.  They pray with you, minister over you, and will help us in a weekend journey to know Christ more.  This is a statement explaining their ministry from their site:

Jesus encouraged the disciples to pray, "Your Kingdom come... on earth, as it is in Heaven" and we believe He is still encouraging us to pray in the same way. God rejoices when His Kingdom authority is established in our lives and we learn to live in the presence and power of His Holy Spirit. In this way we become disciples and are able to enter into the destiny He has prepared for us. We long to see the Christian community rise up in strength of God to do the works of the Kingdom as they are healed and delivered. 


 Coy and I are going into this weekend with expectant hearts. I would be lying if I said I wasn't trusting the Lord for some healing it regards to my stress, but I know that more than just the pain, there may be deeper issues somewhere in my life that add to those feelings of anxiety or stress, especially in situations where it seems CRAZY to feel stressed :) The Lord has a lot of work to do in me beyond anxiety too, and I am excited to see what I get to work through with Christ this weekend.


The Lord is good and I know that no matter what happens this weekend, I want to live a more expectant life and a life full of Gods grace, love and trust.