Another Year??!?!?!

2 years turned to 4?!

This was my initial reaction to the news that I wasn't accepted into the College of Education for this September (next to crying). We came to Saskatoon thinking we would be here 2 years for me to finish my schooling, and now a year later, we are post-poned yet another year before I even get IN to school to finish. As much as it was a shock for me, it kind of wasn't. I had been emailing with an Advisor during the Application process and long story short she had informed me that this year didn't look that great for me.  Now the whole story really is another story in and of itself, but the big picture and truth is that the Lord is stretching myself and Coy through this.

I am looking forward to a year of working here in Saskatoon, but there are thoughts and ideas for our life that I struggle with. School still at 28 years old?! Finishing at 30 years old?! Kids at 30?! Renting a house STILL?!

The Lord has been showing me through this experience that we are not ready. Mine and Coy's plans were not necessarily wrong to make or think, but they were not God's plans. HIS plans are so much greater. I have been learning to trust God more and lean on His understanding not my own.  All my worldly goals and ideas about my life are exactly that - a worldly mindset.  God is showing me that He is above the world and my thinking should be eternal. Not worrying about the future (Mt 6:34) but to live each day as its own and fully present.  The Lord KNOWS why I am not teaching yet and He knows when is best for us to start a family (even if it does start at 30 years old...35...40..)  I know the blessings won't be lost and this year will have blessings in itself.  This all has given Coy and I an opportunity to step back and remember who God is to us.  He isn't a God who just answers our prayers and listens to us, He a loving, tender, kind God who knows the best plan for our lives. He wants to lead us, guide us and use us where we are at. I am sure that this year is a year where God is calling us to surrender our lives fully to Him and His plans.... where we should have been all along.

We are praying for the Lord to show us where we need to be in terms of ministry together this year (and in the future), praying for more growth in our relationship with Him and with each other, and more opportunities to have fellowship and relationships with people in Saskatoon that we haven't had yet.  The Lord is good and His mercies are new each day!

Focus... What?

Wow it has been a long time since I have written anything on here.
School has got me super busy, along with our niece being born, it felt I didn't have time to sit and write.  But here is the reality of that thought... I have LOTS of time!
So, I have been thinking of lots of things that I'd like to share on here and get feedback and thoughts on about, but this one stands out for me. It stands out for me right now, because I am suppose to be writing a paper right now, and instead I am not. It is so hard to focus now a days on a certain thing, especially if it has to do with a computer in front of you!
I am finding that more and more I am getting stuck some days in that 'ADD' type of mode in my life, where I cannot focus for 5 minutes without a change of scenery or a 'break.'  I bet Facebook is the best example for many of us as far as 'taking a break.'  IT seriously bugs me that I have to be on a computer for school ALL the time.. because the reality is that Facebook, blogs, and window shopping online is WAY more interesting than school work.  So even a minute ago I came to my browser to look up a definition, and realized how crazy the web pages are these days.  I could barely find the definition!  There were so many advertisements and pictures all around that it took FOCUS to find what I was looking for. That is crazy. And yet I think it speaks a reality to me about how our culture functions now a days.  No wonder kids are being labeled more and more with ADHD.... our culture is making them that!

Anyways, I don't think I've explained this as well as I'd like, but I just don't want to be a part of this culture in that way.  I have thought about getting rid of internet in our house before and limiting my time to it, but it doesn't seem completely viable with school and all. I want to have FOCUS on the things that are important in my life. I want to read the Word for more than 10 minutes without thinking about something else I could do... or do a paper without opening a browser and getting distracted. I think a lot of that is personal practice and choice to not give in.  Bring on the challenge...

(P.S - not re-reading or editing this so it may not make sense in some parts! ha)

A Year Committed to the LORD

While away for the holidays to the ranch and Calgary for a couple weeks, I had lots of time to relax, think and spend time with my family and friends.  It was wonderful.  The ranch was a nice time for me to relax and at some points have nothing to do - was a weird concept to me and I even found myself complaining at ONE point.  Coy made sure to point it out to me and I am grateful he did. So odd how I can go 4 months wishing so bad that I had NOTHING to do or think about.. it had arrived and I felt I should be doing something.  I had to embrace it, and I did. Calgary was a different story with lots of people to see and lots I wanted to do.  It was nice after the time at the ranch.

Now I am back in Saskatoon and back in the grind. As I was looking through some pictures tonight I was reminded of a weekend Coy and I went to with Ellel Ministries.  Here are a couple of pictures I took on a walk in the country called: The Way of The Cross.  There were 18 crosses hung along the way... each with a piece of scripture and meditation.  

That weekend my life changed.  I learned a new way of communicating with God and a new way of living my life.  I am reminded when I read the Word and when stress or worry gets back in my head, that the Lord is the only way.  That weekend the Lord changed things in my life and I want to continue to live in those new ways.  He is the only way I know how to live and I need His Word to feed my soul and keep me going day by day.  This year I want to commit myself to living life better.  Loving the Lord more by my actions, with my words and through my thoughts.  I will not have unbelief.

Here is a Lordship Prayer that Coy and I received that weekend.  Our mentor/counsellor we had, Alex, gave this to us.  Encouraged us to memorize it and say it each morning to remind us of who God is. I hope to encourage you all who read this. Claim this for your life and know that God is in control ultimately but we have the choose it too.

Lordship Prayer
LORD Jesus I acknowledge my need of you and accept you as my Savior, my Redeemer, my Deliverer and my LORD.
I invite you now to be the LORD that is the authority, over the whole of my life.

LORD of my human spirit and all my spiritual awareness and worship.

LORD of my mind, my attitudes, my thinking, my beliefs, and my imagination.
LORD of my emotions and my expression of my feelings.
LORD of my will and all my decisions.

LORD of my body, my physical health, my exercise, my diet, my rest and my appearance.
LORD of my sexuality and its expression.
LORD of the manner and timing of my death.

LORD of my family and all my relationships.
LORD of my secular work and my Christian service.

LORD of my material goods and my perceived needs.
LORD of my finances.

LORD of my plans, my ambitions and my future.

Thank you that Your blood was shed that I might be free from the consequences of sin and that my name is written in the Lamb's book of life.

Amen.