For the Sake of the World

I don’t know what I was thinking when I thought Id write more once I moved to Beechy…once I had our baby… like I would have all the time in the world to do so. Ha! Not so much. But, here is another entry. Long needed and I have so much more I always want to blog about and yet I don’t make the time. Maybe this will be the shifting point?

“For the sake of the world burn like a fire in me, light a flame in my soul for every eye to see”

Tonight as I sit here winding down for the evening, the Lord is speaking to me again. This time through the new Bethel CD, specifically ‘For the Sake of the World.’ I have felt like God has been trying to speak to me lately lots through worship. If I am being totally frank and honest, I have felt a bit disconnected from God since Ella’s been born.  Let me explain though. I have spent time with God: thanking Him, asking him to really show his presence in our lives, asking for his leading in my marriage, my life as a mother now and also as a member of a new community and church family. As a family we send time praying together and reading the word, sometimes – not as much as we need to be. Yet I have felt like something is missing spiritually.  Things change a LOT with a child and just after her turning 4 months old a month and bit ago, do I feel I am more ‘normal’ again. Yet things are different –days & nights, sleep, traveling, shopping, cleaning, church, worship…

       Spiritually I have yet to get to that new ‘normal’ for myself and God – if that makes any sense. 

This song really laid it out for me. “For the sake of THE WORLD burn like a fire in me.” Not for MY sake. Not so that I can feel better…so that I can feel holy, spiritual… it is about the Lord’s kingdom. Maybe it is just me, but I have felt since Ella that my sole purpose most days has been Ella. I mean SOLE purpose. I have felt that all my energy, all my love, all my kisses and cuddles have been for her. Not my husband. Not my God. Where are my priorities? Ella.  I know my family and children are right up there and need to be priorities, but God CANNOT be on the back burner. Though I spend time talking with Him, thanking Him, I have not sat quietly to listen. I have not yearned to learn from Him. From the Word. I have not given my love, my “kisses & cuddles” so to say, or energy to seeking the Lord.

I am starting to really yearn again for that closeness. To yearn for direction. To yearn for God to call me (and our family) where He needs me and wants to use me/us. I am a Mother. I am a Wife. I am a Child of God. I want to be more – for the sake of the world! I am ready to be used to advance His kingdom and do His works that need to be done on this Earth.  I need to be moved beyond my currents settings, feelings and callings some days. This may not be “the time” for that but I know that ministry somewhere is my heart. My ministry at home to my family is first and foremost and I need to work on that most days too, yet I look back at the days where God was using me in the context of youth ministry, in childrens ministry, camp and I yearn to touch lives and be apart of GOD’S work in them again.

The funny thing about writing this is that I sit here and yearn for that and yet know that in my strength and power I cannot do this. MY agenda for life is already packed more than I can handle. For example I have been trying to get going a course for school for over a month now and am very behind on it. Most days I feel defeated by it before I even start to work on it – today was one of those days. Yet I know that energy and focus will come when I put my priorities straight and start to seek God. Start to spend time asking Him to show me his heart daily…to WAIT on Him – with Him - and receive His peace and comfort. God is good all the time! I know this.  His timing is perfect and His peace is far beyond my comprehension, it goes beyond my understanding. Thank you Lord that it does! Ipray that He gives me peace during these next few months and that as I move further in my relationship with Him my friends, family and those around me will sense His love, His power and strength  - for the sake of the world. For the sake of His kingdom.

The Waiting Game

So our patience is definitely being tested this past week or so with everything going on.  As I shared we are moving to the ranch before baby, and at this point we are FOR SURE it will before baby.  We are coming to an end in our place here in Saskatoon and long behold the trailer isn't there/ready. Now we both realize there is nothing we can do about it but pray and wait so that is what we have been doing.  We did hear it was delayed a few weeks a bit ago, so we hope our next phone conversation with the builders is positive and with a definitive date of arrival.

Since we have gotten that news of delay, we have been planning our lives around needing to move out, branding (Coy being gone and needed at the ranch) and baby possibly coming soon after.  I have been clinging to 1 Peter 5:7 - "Cast all your anxiety on Him for he cares for you" and God has been giving me peace through the days! It can be stressful at times and I know I especially have to just take a moment to regain my thoughts, read the word and relax - all for the sake of our baby and our health.

We are SO blessed to have some wonderful friends who own a place here in the city who are allowing us to use it while we need it until baby arrives.  I am not sure what life would look like without them being so generous but I bet it would include my in-laws basement for a few weeks.  So...in the midst of the busy times ahead, looks like we are moving out this weekend since Coy needs to be at the ranch all next week to prepare for branding the following weekend.  I will stay in Saskatoon for the most part - that drive just isn't as comfortable as before .... at all!  Packing is also going slower than expected and naps keep creeping in there when I should be packing even one box :) Packing will come with time and help I suppose...

Anyways, that is an update on our lives.  If you are reading this, please pray for a divine intervention in our trailer being ready and prepared before baby.  I know God's timing IS perfect and we will get it setup whether before or after baby, but I would really LOVE to have at least a few things ready for when we come home with our new addition.

In the meantime, here are a couple more pictures of where the trailer will be.  The dirt that was dug out was moved, and now a pile of gravel sits there ready to be put down and packed - last thing before the trailer can be set down! SO excited for our place to be at the ranch and yet it is crazy to me that time has come so fast!

These pictures do look very similar to the last ones but I assure you the site is more prepared!

The Time Has Come

My New Homestead - City to Ranch. No longer, City to City to Ranch. Our time in Saskatoon is nearing the end as Coy and I officially make the move to the ranch in less than 2 months (hopefully).  We knew this time would come and despite many things along the way that have changed OUR timeline, we are very excited for the move back.  Coy would have moved home before he ever moved away to be honest, but this time in Saskatoon has been a nice transition for me!  I will miss the friends we have here in Stoon and our church/church family, and yet we are very excited for what the Lord has in store for us in Beechy.  For our family life, our new church and how God will use us in our new location in and out of the church. The Lord has been preparing us for a time such as this.

Thank the Lord for His guidance and His plans.  They are greater than what we know and what we could ever have planned for our life this far.  We are relying fully on Him as we move forward not only with a move home but also with expanding our family in June. All of this change at once can feel very overwhelming for us, and as days go by we realize our need more and more for Jesus in our lives.  Patience, peace and endurance as we prepare a home site while living away, pack our boxes in the midst of full time work and tired minds and bodies at the end of the day and still trying to set aside time to prepare our selves for parenthood and what this will look like after baby is born.  All very exciting things, yet it all takes time. We trust the Lord in all things knowing He WILL keep us under His wings as we seek Him and put Him first in all we do.

Here is a sneek peek at where our house trailer will be set up. First the site itself, then the views that we will have from some of our windows. I can't wait for summer time there and visitors in our own home finally!!!  Our home should make it to the ranch mid-May to end of May and hopefully no later. With brandings around that time and me being 8 months pregnant come mid-May, the trailer cannot come soon enough! I have started packing our place in Saskatoon here and things are starting to progress for the site at the ranch, so now we are just praying for a quick and safe delivery of our home ASAP.

 

This is where our trailer will be setup. Facing South with plenty of sunlight!

(plus blooming green trees and green grass soon!)

Our view looking South.

Our view out of our office window, looking West.